Investing in Me: How I'm Prioritizing Self-Love and Personal Growth in My 20s

Last Updated: July 2025

Falling in love with myself has been one of my favorite parts about being in my 20s.

I’m putting myself first and getting to know myself as an adult.

There’s a lot for me to still learn and so many ways for me to grow. I’m at a point where I will choose myself every time.

Investing in myself comes from wanting to live for myself.

What I’m learning about myself

Learning more about myself means investing time in my own work and my own passions. 

As an adult, I’m trying to rediscover what it is that I love to do. I always like to revisit the question: what is my ideal day? Is there something that I want to learn to do? Are there things that I want to see? What is it that I want to do?

I’m at a point in my life where I want to be selfish - selfish in the sense that I only will do things that I truly want to do. I’m trying to throw people pleasing out the window, and truly live my life for myself. So when I visit the question of what my ideal day is, I like to truly center it around myself.

I’m learning what I like to do, what kind of person I want to be, and who I want to surround myself with.

I’m also learning what it means to put myself first, rather than trying to people please. If I’m being honest, a lot of learning is really just unlearning a lot of old, toxic traits that I may possess. I think learning more about myself has a lot to do with healing.

I am inherently an introvert, so I think it is easier for me to want to spend time with myself. I’ve actually always enjoyed spending time with myself, but the people pleasing aspect actually stems from the “cultural toxicity” that I’ve grown up around. This is actually a whole other conversation that we can save for later.

Prioritizing goals and manifestations

Back to me - not only am I learning more about myself throughout this process, but I’m falling in love with myself more and more each day.

Rather than having a “bucket list”, I have goals or manifestations. A “bucket list” is defined as “a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime” (Oxford Dictionary). Honestly, I do not like that. I want a list of things that I will accomplish, so creating goals and manifestations become more useful. I’ve always met my goals and have manifested everything that I’ve wanted.

Shifting my mindset from “I hope to…” to “I will…” or “I am…” has allowed me to meet these goals and manifest what I want. There’s a lot of layers to this, though. I know a lot of people may not believe in manifesting, but there’s so much more to manifestations than the eye can see. Goals and manifestations go hand in hand. While the act of manifesting leaves it in the hands of the Universe (or whatever higher power you believe in), actively creating goals has a plan of action.

I always meet my goals by:

Journaling. Putting pen to paper holds more meaning. There’s muscle memory of writing down your thoughts and goals. It truly sticks in the subconscious of your brain.

• Gratitude. Start journaling with a sense of gratitude. Ground yourself before manifesting/writing down your goals.

• Writing in the past. Journal as your future self. What is your future self feeling? Visualize how you feel and what it looks like.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals.

• This acronym standing for: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound. Create a plan of action for your manifestations through this framework. Think about the specific steps you will need to reach your goals. If it seems “unachievable”, go back a few steps from that goal. Use one of those earlier steps as your current goal. You will eventually get there, and it will take work.

This is a big reason as to why I think goals and manifestations go hand in hand. There’s a sense of detachment that needs to happen, while also allowing your subconscious to take over. The goal is always in the back of your mind, and the will steps get done in the day-to-day.

I started doing this in college and it worked. I wanted to graduate with honors. By the end of my second year, I wasn’t doing very well honestly, I was just passing. I was struggling, but I wanted to do better. I didn’t know how, though, besides knowing that I had to take it seriously. I wrote down my goals with specific things I wanted, but wrote them as if it was my future self - feeling what she feels when she graduates with honors.

I couldn’t let myself ruminate over this. I had faith in myself and the Universe.

I did it. I graduated with honors.

I changed my day-to-day and put in the work. My goal stayed in the back of my mind and that feeling I wrote down was always with me.

Falling in love with myself

I’ve been in love with myself for a long time. It truly is the greatest love of all, as Whitney Houston said.

A big part of this has to do with doing things that I truly love to do. One of my favorite locations is in front of a mirror. I love to admire myself. I can look at myself for hours. I give myself words of affirmation and truly believe them, because why wouldn’t I?

Despite my self-admiration time, I still need to spend time with myself, whether that be going shopping, getting my nails done, going out for food, taking a work out class, going to the movies, taking a trip, etc. I genuinely love spending time with myself, it’s so peaceful. I get to do what I want when I want to - I run my own time and spend my own money (not going to lie, spending my own money pains me but I’m spending money on things I want, so this will work for now).

Loving myself doesn’t have to do with just me, though. Friendships are just as important for self-love. I’m convinced that I love myself so much because of how much I love my life. Let’s be honest, life is so worth living when you hang out with the girls. Girlhood feeds my soul. It reminds me what life is all about. There is something so special about the bond between girlfriends. That is true love.

There’s so much love within the relationships in my life, that it is easy for me to love myself.

Concluding thoughts

Investing in myself - in my life - has become such an important aspect of my 20s. I want to continue to learn and grow and I want to truly love my life.

Becoming goal-oriented has allowed me to learn and grow and surrounding myself with genuine people has truly helped me learn to love myself.

Time and money are currencies that I’m investing in myself. I’m choosing to spend it on things that feed my soul.

I give myself everything I need, want, and more.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3