Investing in Me: How I'm Prioritizing Self-Love and Personal Growth in My 20s

Last Updated: July 2025

Falling in love with myself has been one of my favorite parts about being in my 20s.

I’m putting myself first and getting to know myself as an adult.

There’s a lot for me to still learn and so many ways for me to grow. I’m at a point where I will choose myself every time.

Investing in myself comes from wanting to live for myself.

What I’m learning about myself

Learning more about myself means investing time in my own work and my own passions. 

As an adult, I’m trying to rediscover what it is that I love to do. I always like to revisit the question: what is my ideal day? Is there something that I want to learn to do? Are there things that I want to see? What is it that I want to do?

I’m at a point in my life where I want to be selfish - selfish in the sense that I only will do things that I truly want to do. I’m trying to throw people pleasing out the window, and truly live my life for myself. So when I visit the question of what my ideal day is, I like to truly center it around myself.

I’m learning what I like to do, what kind of person I want to be, and who I want to surround myself with.

I’m also learning what it means to put myself first, rather than trying to people please. If I’m being honest, a lot of learning is really just unlearning a lot of old, toxic traits that I may possess. I think learning more about myself has a lot to do with healing.

I am inherently an introvert, so I think it is easier for me to want to spend time with myself. I’ve actually always enjoyed spending time with myself, but the people pleasing aspect actually stems from the “cultural toxicity” that I’ve grown up around. This is actually a whole other conversation that we can save for later.

Prioritizing goals and manifestations

Back to me - not only am I learning more about myself throughout this process, but I’m falling in love with myself more and more each day.

Rather than having a “bucket list”, I have goals or manifestations. A “bucket list” is defined as “a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime” (Oxford Dictionary). Honestly, I do not like that. I want a list of things that I will accomplish, so creating goals and manifestations become more useful. I’ve always met my goals and have manifested everything that I’ve wanted.

Shifting my mindset from “I hope to…” to “I will…” or “I am…” has allowed me to meet these goals and manifest what I want. There’s a lot of layers to this, though. I know a lot of people may not believe in manifesting, but there’s so much more to manifestations than the eye can see. Goals and manifestations go hand in hand. While the act of manifesting leaves it in the hands of the Universe (or whatever higher power you believe in), actively creating goals has a plan of action.

I always meet my goals by:

Journaling. Putting pen to paper holds more meaning. There’s muscle memory of writing down your thoughts and goals. It truly sticks in the subconscious of your brain.

• Gratitude. Start journaling with a sense of gratitude. Ground yourself before manifesting/writing down your goals.

• Writing in the past. Journal as your future self. What is your future self feeling? Visualize how you feel and what it looks like.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals.

• This acronym standing for: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound. Create a plan of action for your manifestations through this framework. Think about the specific steps you will need to reach your goals. If it seems “unachievable”, go back a few steps from that goal. Use one of those earlier steps as your current goal. You will eventually get there, and it will take work.

This is a big reason as to why I think goals and manifestations go hand in hand. There’s a sense of detachment that needs to happen, while also allowing your subconscious to take over. The goal is always in the back of your mind, and the will steps get done in the day-to-day.

I started doing this in college and it worked. I wanted to graduate with honors. By the end of my second year, I wasn’t doing very well honestly, I was just passing. I was struggling, but I wanted to do better. I didn’t know how, though, besides knowing that I had to take it seriously. I wrote down my goals with specific things I wanted, but wrote them as if it was my future self - feeling what she feels when she graduates with honors.

I couldn’t let myself ruminate over this. I had faith in myself and the Universe.

I did it. I graduated with honors.

I changed my day-to-day and put in the work. My goal stayed in the back of my mind and that feeling I wrote down was always with me.

Falling in love with myself

I’ve been in love with myself for a long time. It truly is the greatest love of all, as Whitney Houston said.

A big part of this has to do with doing things that I truly love to do. One of my favorite locations is in front of a mirror. I love to admire myself. I can look at myself for hours. I give myself words of affirmation and truly believe them, because why wouldn’t I?

Despite my self-admiration time, I still need to spend time with myself, whether that be going shopping, getting my nails done, going out for food, taking a work out class, going to the movies, taking a trip, etc. I genuinely love spending time with myself, it’s so peaceful. I get to do what I want when I want to - I run my own time and spend my own money (not going to lie, spending my own money pains me but I’m spending money on things I want, so this will work for now).

Loving myself doesn’t have to do with just me, though. Friendships are just as important for self-love. I’m convinced that I love myself so much because of how much I love my life. Let’s be honest, life is so worth living when you hang out with the girls. Girlhood feeds my soul. It reminds me what life is all about. There is something so special about the bond between girlfriends. That is true love.

There’s so much love within the relationships in my life, that it is easy for me to love myself.

Concluding thoughts

Investing in myself - in my life - has become such an important aspect of my 20s. I want to continue to learn and grow and I want to truly love my life.

Becoming goal-oriented has allowed me to learn and grow and surrounding myself with genuine people has truly helped me learn to love myself.

Time and money are currencies that I’m investing in myself. I’m choosing to spend it on things that feed my soul.

I give myself everything I need, want, and more.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Entrepreneurial Queens vs. Corporate Baddies: The Battle for Time

Last Updated: October 2024

Do you ever realize how much of our lives are surrounded by time? 

We are literally constrained by the clock. We think about it constantly, especially in a capitalist country, where time and money are damn near synonymous. We are obsessed with making money, which directly correlates to time. 

Everyone is constantly moving, trying to figure out their next move. 

I don’t want to live like that LMAO where the clock runs my life. 

Me and the clock 

I’m having a taste of what it’s like to have the clock run your life, and holy sh*t, y’all really just settled for this?  (A corporate lifestyle btw, if that wasn’t clear) Working constantly, stuck in the same f*cking cycle - day after f*cking day. 

Don’t get me wrong, I really love my job, I just don’t get how people don’t get tired of this sh*t. Like wtf do you MEAN we only have a TWO DAY break in between five whole ass work days. 

That’s some f*cking bullsh*t. 

Inner conflict with time

Bouncing back off of how this generation is changing the workplace, we’re desiring for more freedom financially, personally, and socially.  I still want to work and hustle, but as an entrepreneur, not as an entity in a corporation. In a corporation, you’re running on their time instead of your own time. As much as I love my job, idk how much longer I can run on this kind of never-ending corporate clock. 

I’m really struggling to find time and balance between corporate work and my own passions. I want to give all of my time to my business, obviously, but it’s f*cking exhausting, b!tch - trying to balance being a corporate baddie, but also striving towards becoming an entrepreneur. 

Being a corporate baddie isn’t all that bad. I am definitely learning so much, and think it’s a necessary step for me in my own personal growth, but it’s like, at what cost? Freedom?

The true struggle

The real struggle is being on a strict schedule. 

Listen, if I get a minute off of schedule, everything is f*cking ruined. And this is what I mean by running by clock time. The clock/time is literally running my life rather than the other way around. Do I want that? I mean, who tf wants that? Where every minute of your life is worth, essentially, more than money. Where you’re literally racing the f*cking clock. Like, bro, that’s stressful as f*ck.

But, hey, #GrindDontStop. 

Even though it f*cking should. Lol like slow tf down, let me catch a f*cking breath!!! 

Part of me is like, why don’t we just live off natural time, like the natural human beings that we are? Then the other part of me is like “WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK”, I mean, Riri said it best, amirite. 

So many struggles, feel me? LMAO

What y’all think? 

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

20s, Energies, and Boundaries: Where to Draw the Line

Last Updated: October 2024

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not going to allow my own energy to be disturbed by anyone.

Protecting Your Energy

I think more people need to understand and realize that there’s no issue in wanting to protect your own energy or maintain your peace. Personally, I don’t see any value or advantage in allowing your peace to be interfered with for the sake of someone else.

Why it Matters

It may sound selfish and even a little harsh, but what do you gain by allowing someone else to walk all over your aura? Yes, you are protecting them, but what about ourselves?

Once you realize what’s serving you versus what’s not and you block out anything that disrupts your peace, life is just so much more fun and it feels so much easier.

Finding Inner Peace

I have to be honest, I’m still working on maintaining my peace. With the small changes that I’ve made, I’ve noticed that I feel less worried. It’s my life, and I’m not going to let anyone drain my own energy.

This honestly requires a lot of inner work where you unlearn old habits and become aware of what you bring into your life. This self-awareness can allow you to find true peace because you truly understand what’s positively impacting your life - you understand what you need/want in your life versus what you don’t.

We shouldn’t allow anyone or anything to f*ck with us.

Like how are you going to be disturbing me on my phone? Bye, immediately blocked!

Sometimes, silence is the best answer.

Learning when to speak up and when to stay quiet is a huge lesson that we all need to learn. We’ll have to choose between protecting our peace or pushing our boundaries. There are some things that just aren’t worth our energy - I want us all to be mindful of this. It’s so easy to react without thought, but I want us to at least be aware of this. Be aware of what may be disrupting your peace.

There’s no reason to put your energy into something that’s ultimately going to drain your own. Here’s to being bad b!tches with self-awareness, self-care, and self-love! Protect that energy, b!tch. 

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me <3

Self-Love: The Ultimate Act of Rebellion in Your 20s

Last Updated: October 2024

Listen, b!tch, I love myself. I can’t emphasize this enough. I’ve reached a point where loving and understanding myself has gone beyond anything I could ever imagine, it’s as if I’m dating myself. I mean, I basically am dating myself. I’ve learned the value of my own time and I’m continuing to learn more about myself and the world around me every day. 

We are all multifaceted people. There’s so many layers to each of us, and, let’s be real, sometimes, we don’t even understand our own layers. 

Using Self-Reflection to Reach Ultimate Self-love

Learning how to love yourself and learning how to value your own time is not only about a bath, a face mask, buying yourself whatever you want, etc. Don’t get me wrong, that’s definitely part of self-care and self-love, but what about self-reflection. 

When you self-reflect, you learn and understand more about who you are. You become more self-aware of your thoughts, your actions, and your values. Doing inner work can have the ability to boost your self-confidence and self-love because you have that internal, rather than external, validation. You begin to understand your own self-worth and it’s just a beautiful thing to see and a beautiful thing to obtain because you can then grow to your higher self, your full potential. 

Obviously, this is easier said than done, and can definitely be more beneficial with professional help, but simply understanding what internal/inner work could be potentially done, is already one step closer to your higher self.

Do It For You

There’s always a reason as to why we do the things we do - it’s just a matter of understanding them and using them for your own advantage through self-reflective work. We can continue in old, negative patterns, or we can learn and grow from them. 

If you can give love to others, you definitely should put yourself on the receiving end, too. Learn how to give yourself that same love and learn what you need for yourself. It’s not selfish to want to spend time with yourself or to want more for yourself. It’s your f*cking life, bro. It shouldn’t be seen as negative to want to spend time with yourself, or to achieve high levels of self-love. Self-love comes with self-reflection. The self-reflection work is definitely a long process, but when you achieve that high level of self-love, it will be so worth the wait. You’ll realize just how worth it you are, that you are a priceless human<3

I just want all of us to be our higher selves and to have the utmost love for themselves. 

Find ways to level up, the best competition is with yourself. How can I be better? How can I become the higher version of myself? How would my future self approach this?

Here’s to being the absolute best version of yourself. Send love to yourself <3

And remember, your past, present, and future selves all deserve love.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me <3

Fake it Til You Slay it: The Power of Confidence and Self-Belief

Last Updated: October 2024

Live how you see your future self, that way you turn into exactly that. I can tell you that when you start to simply act confident, you’ll soon just naturally become confident. And everything just works out in your favor. Believe that.

Building Confidence

Walk around as if you own everything and as if the world revolves around you. Because, it does. 

Power isn’t given to you, you always have it. You are so f*cking powerful, use that. 

The universe always has your back. 

Tell yourself this, every day.

You have to believe it yourself in order for things to happen, for things to align. 

Your words are more powerful than you think. Whatever you say in your mind, whatever you say out loud, your mind is trained to believe whatever you say or whatever you put out there. 

For you boss b!tches

I truly just want you to understand how powerful you are - you’re a bad b!tch. Don’t ever forget that.

When you start being the person you see yourself to be, everything will fall into place. You have to believe that you’re exactly where you need to be and that you are going to end up exactly where you are meant to because the universe knows that. 

I know what you’re thinking, like “this f*cking b!tch” and YES, this f*cking b!tch LMAO. Show up for yourself. MAKE the change. Visualize your higher self and show up and act accordingly. 

You have the dreams and visualizations for a f*cking reason. Now act on it. Just let it be, show up, and be that b!tch. Trust the universe!! It always has your back. 

Let’s get it!

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Unleashing My True Self: A 20-Something's Fight Against Inauthenticity

Last Updated: October 2024

Author’s Note

Before you read this, I want you to know that this piece needs a rewrite—a new take on how I feel about authenticity. It’s fascinating, for lack of a better word, to see how I felt a year ago. Do I still feel the same? I wouldn’t go as far as saying the same, but there’s definitely more to it now.

I’ve been learning a lot, and I think it’s important that I went through that phase of my life. Why am I still keeping this up? Because I find it valuable. It helps me understand who I was then and how I’ve changed since. It’s been well over a year since I wrote this, and while the content may no longer reflect my current views, it holds value in showing how far I've come and how my insights have evolved.

I want you to know that an updated version of this piece is in the works. For now, you can read the thoughts of my past self—someone who was holding onto a lot of anger and resentment:

Fight Against Inauthenticity

B!tch, I’ve had a whole a$$ epiphany: I’ve been struggling to be myself.

Like do I know who I am? Yes, but very much no. The social aspect of college got me all the way f*cked up.

B!tch, I just feel like the culture difference was a lot on me. I grew up always being around people of color, so I was shocked when I entered college. I completely understand why this girl I was super close with in the beginning of college, dropped out. I do be questioning if I should’ve, too, but, hey, can’t change the past.

I deadass just feel like I don’t know how to act because of my previous inability to show who I was throughout my college experience at a PWI. And listen, you can tell me, statistically, that it wasn’t even half white (I checked out this website, too, for fun) - that statistic HIGH KEY surprised me, I’m not going to lie - but I feel like the difference was with socioeconomic class, to be f*cking honest (I couldn’t find stats for this, so this was just mere observation and judgment). Also, most, if not all, other people of color -whom I’ve met- grew up in places that were predominantly white, so our experiences and backgrounds varied significantly, which made it a little harder to connect. Growing up, I never felt like I had to be anyone else because I was comfortable with who I was - I didn’t feel as if I was singled out as different, whereas in college, I felt hella different, bruh. It was hard to feel comfortable with who I was because it was a struggle to connect with others on a deeper level.

Now, I feel like I’m only “myself” around my family and a handful of other people - I don’t express that authentic side of me enough anymore, so most of my brain is stuck in this “try to conform to the culture around me” survivor mode (ew). Kinda deep, kinda dark. Yeah that place got me more f*cked up than I thought LMAO.

I’m f*cking glad I had this epiphany, though, cause what the f*ck, how dare I let that place dictate my life in a negative way. LOL well, here’s to a year of more self-discovery, being more comfortable with who I am, and not giving a F*CK.

xoxo,
kaels
too bad ain’t me<3

Read more about my college experience here!